He hated that he still cared.
He hated that part of him wanted to cross the room and comfort her.
He stayed where he was.
Samantha sat on the edge of the sofa.
Her shoulders shook.
“I was lonely,” she said.
Ethan closed his eyes briefly.
There it was.
The explanation that would ask him to become responsible for her choice.
“I know you were lonely,” he said.
Samantha looked up.
“You were never here.”
“I was here.”
“You were physically here.”
“That is not fair.”
“You worked every night.”
“I worked late three nights a week.”
“You came home tired.”
“So did you.”
“You stopped talking to me.”
“I asked you to go to counseling with me in February.”
Samantha looked away.
Ethan remembered that conversation clearly.
He had noticed they were becoming more like roommates.
He suggested counseling before resentment grew.
Samantha had laughed gently and said they were not “that couple.”
She said they only needed a vacation.
Ethan booked a long weekend in Santa Fe.
Samantha spent most of the trip answering work emails.
He had not thrown that back at her afterward.
He had simply tried again.
In April, he asked her to take Saturday mornings for breakfast together without phones.
They did it twice.
Then Samantha began scheduling yoga classes with Clare during the same time.
In June, Ethan suggested they visit the coast for their anniversary.
Samantha said she had too much going on at work.
They had dinner locally instead.
Ethan bought the gold bracelet she was still wearing.
She had kissed him in the parking lot and said, “We are okay, you know.”
He had believed her because he wanted to.
Now Samantha sat on their sofa and said she had been lonely.
Ethan did not deny her feeling.
He denied what she had done with it.
“You were allowed to be unhappy,” he said.
“You were allowed to be angry with me.”
“You were allowed to say you wanted counseling.”
“You were allowed to say you wanted a separation.”
“You were even allowed to say you did not love me anymore.”
His voice tightened for the first time.
“You were not allowed to build a secret life and then call my trust the reason it was easy.”
Samantha wiped her cheeks.
“I am sorry.”
Ethan nodded.
“I believe you are sorry right now.”
“That sounds cruel.”
“It is not meant to be cruel.”
“Then what is it supposed to mean?”
“It means I do not know whether you are sorry for what you did or sorry that everyone you counted on staying quiet started talking.”
